What are some signs of emotional abuse in a relationship? How can we identify them? Read on to learn 6 signs of an emotionally abusive relationship.

Did you know that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month?

As a survivor of domestic violence and an advocate for the community, I wanted to shed light on a topic that is often overlooked and unspoken of…emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse is a type of domestic violence that is often overlooked and not talked about. Emotional abuse can be degrading, terrifying and humiliating. It can take a toll on the victim’s confidence and self-esteem.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 48.4% of women have experienced at least one psychologically aggressive behavior by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Psychological abuse has been demonstrated in several studies that has proven it can cause long-term damage to a victim’s mental health, such as anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, lack of trust and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

So, how do you know if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship? What are some warning signs of emotional abuse? How can we identify the red flags? Read on to learn 6 signs of an emotionally abusive relationship.

6 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

  1. Gaslighting: This type of abuse is meant to make your doubt what is reality. The abuser will often question your own thoughts. When gaslighting is successful, you will begin to wonder if you can trust your own feelings and interpretations.
  2. Silent treatment: Instead of communicating, an abuser punishes you with silence, leaving you guessing at what you might have done wrong. The silent treatment is a means of control.
  3. Isolation: Someone abusing you will try to get you to prioritize their needs and neglect your own. Often, they will make an effort to isolate your from your support system, which leaves you more dependent on them, thus having more control over you.
  4. Invasion of Privacy: When someone is trying to control you through possession. The abuser may go through your things without your permission. They can also take control of your money, also known as financial abuse.
  5. Emotional Blackmail: This scenario is when the abuser threatens to withhold something from you unless you give into their demands. Some examples of emotional abuse can be:
    • “If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll go find it somewhere else.
    • “I’ll kill myself if you try to break up with me.”
    • “If you don’t do what I want, I’m going to get a divorce.”
  6. Devaluation: An abuser doesn’t miss a chance to remind you of your flaws, mistakes and shortcomings. They often call you names, belittle you, make condescending remarks and may even embarrass you in public. The abuser will often disregard your opinions ideas, thoughts and feelings.

Not all kinds of abuse come with visible signs or warnings. Emotional abuse is often overlooked and unspoken of. It can leave you mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Recognizing the signs of emotional abuse is the first step to getting help. If you or someone you know is being hurt in an abusive relationship, know that you are not alone. And know that there are people who want to support you

Remember that the abuse is not your fault. You can start taking small steps to protect and nurture yourself and begin to heal from your emotionally abusive relationship.

You deserve love, respect and care. You deserve to be treated like a queen. You deserve to be appreciated. You deserve to feel safe in your relationship. You don’t need to settle for less.

Learn to pinpoint red flags that can help you make empowered decisions and don’t hesitate to reach out for help. You can heal from an emotionally abusive relationship and you don’t need to do it alone. Check out my blog post around How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship for some tips and tools on how to get started on your journey to healing.

Note: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please know that help is available. Call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788 for confidential support.