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LIANNE [lee-ann]
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10 Types of People to Avoid in a New Relationship

Finding a new relationship after dealing with toxic and/or abusive situations can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. You’ve been through some tough sh*t and want to make sure that your next relationship is healthy, loving and supportive.

However, there are certain types of people with traits and behaviors that might ring off some alarms and red flags🚩. Keep reading as I dive deep into 11 types of people to avoid in a new relationship!

#1: The Controller

Encountering the Controller can be a challenge, especially for someone who has a history of dealing with toxic and/or abusive partners. This type of person often displays a strong need to assert dominance and control over you, creating a chaotic environment. Some red flags to look out for in the Controller include:

#2: The Uncommunicative Partner

My last relationship with my abusive ex definitely fell under this next category… the Uncommunicative Partner. It was like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall. This person struggles to engage in open and honest conversations & lacks emotional intimacy and trust. Some red flags to look out for in the Uncommunicative Partner include:

#3: The Narcissist

I know this is a super trendy word online nowadays, but coming across the Narcissist can truly be a detriment to your mental health. This person is all about self. Their wants and needs are the only thing that matters and at the end of the day, they’re someone who believes they’re better than everyone else. AVOID THIS PERSON AT ALL COSTS! Some red flags to look out for in the Narcissist include:

#4: The Gaslighter

Another on trend word roaming the internet streets nowadays, the Gaslighter is another type of person you should avoid in a new relationship. Gaslighters manipulate situations, causing you to question your perceptions, memories, and ultimately, your reality. Some red flags to look out for in the Gaslighter include:

#5: The Serial Cheater

Whew, chile… the Serial Cheater is someone you MUST avoid, especially in a new relationship. One thing I’ve learned on my healing journey from dealing with toxic, abusive and unhealthy partners is this… if they did it once, THEY WILL DO IT AGAIN! Some red flags to look out for in the Serial Cheater include:

#6: The Overly Jealous Partner

Jealousy is a normal human emotion we’ve all felt at one point in our lives. Don’t lie, sis! I know you’ve been there (myself included). However, dealing with the Overly Jealous Partner is a migraine you shouldn’t deal with, especially in a new relationship. Some red flags to look out for in the Overly Jealous Partner include:

#7: The Emotionally Unavailable Person

This one is for my anxiously attached people out there. As a recovering anxious attachment partner myself, we have the tendency to attract the Emotionally Unavailable Person, which is a recipe for disaster. Avoid this person like the plague, especially when getting into a new relationship. Some red flags to look out for in the Emotionally Unavailable Person include:

#8: The Manipulative Charmer

Ahhh… Mr. Charisma (or rizz as the kids say nowadays😵‍💫). It might seem like he’s too good to be true, right? Well, you might have a point there, sis. The Manipulative Charmer ultimately uses their charm to hide their ulterior motives. Some red flags to look out for in the Manipulative Charmer include:

#9: The Financially Irresponsible Partner

One of the top reasons why marriages fail is… MONEY PROBLEMS! The Financially Irresponsible Partner is a surefire recipe for disaster, especially when you’re in the beginning of the relationship. DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200! Some red flags to look out for in the Financially Irresponsible Partner include:

#10: The Hot Head

Lord, Jesus… The Hot Head isn’t just a red flag to avoid… IT’S A FULL ON STOP🛑SIGN, SIS! A person who is quick to react without thinking of the consequences that come from their impulsive actions is a HELL NO to what should deal with. This is a hard lesson I learned when dealing with someone who had unresolved anger issues. Some red flags to look out for in the Hot Head include:

#11: The Love Bomber

I’m sure you’ve heard about the Love Bomber more than once in today’s digital world. Girl meets Guy. Day in & day out, he’s whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He showers you with intense “love” and affection early on in the relationship. You feel like you’re floating on cloud 9. Something tells you this seems too good to be true… I’m sorry to say but it probably is, sis! Some red flags to look out for in the Love Bomber include:

The Bottom Line

It’s important for those of us who’ve been through toxic and abusive relationships to recognize red flags in new relationships. One thing I’ve learned about myself is to LISTEN TO MY INTUITION. Women have this strong, innate ability to differentiate right from wrong. It’s a gift we all need to utilize when navigating new relationships.

Whether it’s the Controlling partner, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable, or the dreaded Manipulative Charmer, each personality type has its set of challenges. It’s crucial to set boundaries EARLY in the relationships and stand 10 toes down on said boundaries!

As you venture into new relationships, use these insights to your discretion. Seek out connections that embrace trust, authenticity and someone who makes you feel emotionally safe. Choose someone who brings out the best in you. At the end of the day, you deserve relationships that lift you up… not bring you down.

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